The Unorthodox Website Blog

Conspiracy!

13 Aug

Before I took early retirement at the end of May 2007 I was looking forward to spending long, hot summers most of the day up Hampstead Mixed Bathing Pond. When working the afternoon/early evening shift I did manage a couple of hours up there on hot days before going into work, so was lucky in that respect.

However there was clearly a conspiracy to wreck my retirement plans. Since 2006 we have not had a decent summer with lots of hot weather. So far this year I’ve managed 5 occasions when I could have an outdoor swim and sunbathe – two up Hampstead, two at the Serpentine Lido in Hyde Park and one day in Brighton. Oh well, hope to get to Hastings to see a friend later this month or possibly next month, and booked on holiday in the Isle of Wight with my mother for week of her 97th birthday. Maybe I’ll get some swimming/sunbathing in then.

Of course it’s all the fault of David Cameron and Nick Clegg, and before them the previous Conservative leaders of ‘New Labour’ – Gordon Brown and Tony Blair. They all conspired to plan these disappointing summers just to wreck my retirement plans. A charming elderly lady in the 1960s pointed out these conspiracies to me when she came in CND (Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament) head office where I worked listing everything that was wrong anywhere in the world and adding at the end of each sentence: ‘Of course it’s all that dreadful Harold Wilson’s fault!’

Politicians! You can’t even trust them with the weather. Now during the 13 years of Tory rule in the 1950s/early 1960s under Churchill, Eden, Macmillan, Home and Heath we had marvelous summers, usually spent at Margate. As Harold Macmillan said, obviously referring to the beautiful hot summers we had every year: ‘You’ve never had it so good!’

It all changed with Maggie Thatcher, of course, when she rationed the free sunshine in her cutback of public services. Rumor has it that the Con-Dem Coalition is planning to privatize the sunshine and we’ll have to pay thru the nose by the hour to pay for the big fat cat bonuses for the new directors of unlimitedsunshine.com

Bastards! Give us back our hot summers and free sunshine. As you’ll see from pictures and caption below, Chairman Mao insured the Chinese people always had plenty of free sunshine.

‘Chairman Mao, The Great Red Sun In Our Hearts!’

  1. carol clair posted the following on August 13, 2011 at 4:47 pm.

    Tony…….if you want hot weather to go swimming, you should come to the US. Especially Texas and that area of the country for hot weather. But, wait…….they’ve had drought this summer and the lakes are drying up, aren’t they. But we’ve had our share of hot weather this summer. But now it’s cooling off but don’t know if it will last. We go to a nice, and I DO mean nice, indoor poor for our swimming these days. It’s heated but the temp. is NICE. Ah………..it’s great!!!!!!!!

    Reply to carol clair

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